【轉載】英國燈泡包裝紙上的警語

  來源已經難以查詢了,如果有苦主看到這篇文,可請向敝人認領…假如不怕承認的話?XD

  由於網路上轉文一大堆,亦不知道到底要聯結那篇好,故直接將該文詳細轉載如下,因為後續敝人有再自行依此文求解。
:3

  啊,請勿嘗試本危險動作,耐著性子看完敝人的求解吧~…

 

我不清楚台灣的燈泡是不是跟英國一樣。

在英國,燈泡的包裝紙上都有警告–Do not put that object into your mouth.
意思是不要把燈泡放進口中。
他奶奶的…那有人會放這東西進口中?英國人都有些白痴 ..

告訴你,世事無絕對!


有天我和一個印度朋友在家中看電視,我和他談到這件事,
他告訴我他們小學的教科書也有說到,燈泡放進口後便會卡住,
無論如何都拿不出來,他十分肯定書是那麼說的..

但我十分懷疑,我認為燈泡的表面是十分滑的,如果可以放得進口,
證明口部足夠大讓其出入,理論上也可以拿出來。
但這印度白痴只說書上是那麼說的… 便一定是正確 ..

我被他這種不求甚解的態度弄火了,
我說他笨,他說我不會英文不看書…我們便吵了起來 …

我一肚火地回了家,拿起一個普通大小的燈泡在床上左想右想,
始終認為我沒有錯,想到這印度朋友的無知,也本著科學家的精神—–大膽假設,小心求證。
我決定要證實給他看。當然,我也做了安全措施…買了一瓶菜油回家。
 一切就緒,二話不說便把燈泡放進口中…
不消 1秒便滑入了口,倒也容易 …照這樣看要拿出來絕無問題。
心想你這印度白痴,看看我中國人的智慧和膽色吧!

不像你這書呆子…心想中國戰勝印度 … 打從心裡笑了出來…哈哈!
於是我輕鬆的拉了燈泡一下………

好!我放多點力 …….. OK!

我把口張大一些
……..

不怕,我把口張到最大,再放多一點力 ( 要很小心拉才能避免燈破掉)
………
媽的!…

真的在嘴巴內卡住了 ……
好在還有瓶菜油……..

( 30 分鐘後)

我倒了3/4瓶油,其中一半倒了進肚,但那燈泡還是動也不動 …
這時候,我只好打電話求救 ………………….

正當我按到一半,我記起我口中塞了個燈泡 …如何說話?
現在我只好向鄰居求助,我寫了一張便條後便去找鄰家那老婦。
她一見我便大呼救命 …

我立即給她看我的便條 —please call me a taxi and tell the driver to take me hospital.
(請招呼一輛計程車,還請告訴司機載我到醫院。)
她看了大約1.75 分鐘後大聲狂笑 …
(如果我說得出話我便 f**k 她了。)

 15分鐘後,計程車來了。
司機一見我,笑了一回 ( 其實他一直沒有停過)。
在計程車上不停的問我何以這麼做 …(…***… 我如何答他?)
還不停說我的口太小,如果是他的口便沒有問題…
我看看他的口真是很大…
但我好想告訴他,無論如何不要試…可惜我開不了口!
我看看他的倒後鏡,我好像含住了一條金魚…

在醫院,我被護士罵了十多分鐘,說我浪費她們時間。
還要我排一條很長的龍…
我在人群中待了2.5小時 …2.5小時…
那些痛楚萬分的傷者,看見我都好像不痛了 …人人都偷偷笑出來…
我覺得自己還有些作用 …

醫生把綿花放進我口的兩旁,然後把燈泡打碎…一片片的拿出來…
我的口腫得很大…最後他告訴我下回不要再試,和告訴別人我的經驗 …
我告訴他,我一定不會了。
當我離開醫院時,我在想,這地球一定沒有像我這麼白痴的生物了…

 

 

當我開門離開時,迎面來了一個人,是剛才那計程車司機 …

他口中含了一個燈泡 …….-_-||

1214 Responses to “【轉載】英國燈泡包裝紙上的警語”


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