今年六月之後,每次回家時,爸爸開始會把一些他從網路上看來覺得不錯的文章列印出來拿給我,還希望我背起來~囧”
爸……重點應該是在於理解,而非死記表面的文字吧?囧a
我想這篇文章應該在網路上也有不少的轉載,因此稍微在搜尋引擊的找了一下,是有找到一個還蠻完整的版本並附有作者名字,但是也不知道到底有沒有可信度。
我只是希望能尊重一下該作者而已,他的這篇文章真的有不少人轉載…,該文章作者名字是黃家燕先生。
不過內容雖然十分相似,但都有所差異,就連到底是給「萍兒」還是「小雯」都不一樣~囧a
轉載處網址:家,不是個講理的地方。 該網址的首頁:相見便是有緣
其實我初聽這句話時,並沒有如文章開頭所預期的「覺得沒道理」,而且還蠻認同這句話的。
雖然我也沒有經歷過太多的是非、歷經風霜、承受辛酸或者是渡過多少歲月,但我總覺得我在很早的時候就知道這件事了。也許是剛好有碰到足以讓我理解的事吧…也許是因為萊姆的關係?
只是這句我覺得要稍稍修正一些…,家並非是個完全不需講理的地方,而是不可「爭理」的地方。
有句成語叫「理直氣壯」,
又有句俗諺云「有理走遍天下,無理寸步難行」。
我想也許是因為這些短言造成了種刻版的印象,以致很多人不願接受自己可能也有錯誤而硬爭。覺得自己理直所以就必需要氣壯~…氣勢要是輸人的話,似乎是承認自己失敗或做錯事,這樣就會很沒面子!!
若是另一方也有同樣的觀念,相爭到最後的結果…往往模糊了問題的焦點,演變成很難收拾的局面。
尤其是當爭到雙方脾氣都上來時,根本不可能好好的抓住討論的重點,進而找出解決問題的方法。
更甚者就開始翻起舊帳,一一數落對方的不是,只為了要讓對方屈服於自己的「理」。就只是因為雙方都認為自己才是對的,對方錯……不肯好好傾聽對方的話,又想要對方「心服口服」於自己所說的理。
或者其實心裡早就明白對方有可能是對的,就只是因為面子而死不認錯,硬爭到底。
對外人「據理力爭」是沒什麼不好,因為就是有些人一但覺得你好欺負,就會開始不客氣的得寸進尺(台語稱為軟土深掘)。但在對於親近的人上,為什麼要如此強硬~?面子真的那麼重要?比親人還要更加的重要!?
在你爭理而誤傷了對方時…,也被不甘示弱的對方反擊傷害,這樣不就是最明顯的「因果報應」的一種例子嗎?
因為你傷害了別人,自然傷害就會返回到自己身上。
假如說只為了爭個理、爭個面子,
結果卻失去更多,而且又傷害到親人,
那到底還要爭什麼?又有什麼好爭的!?
雖說如此,理性仍然是必要的,尤其是在評估兩個人將來的計畫及對於多變未來的各種預防之時。不能只是因為怕「客觀分析的行為太冷漠」,而不去思考以及反應給對方,但在溝通之時並非是強迫別人一定要聽自己指揮似的一昧硬爭。
在家裡要懷著一顆柔軟的心,即使是說理也用不著咄咄逼人,家人並非是敵人……
又何必對家人強硬,要讓對方屈服於己?
倒也是還有另一個不太應該講理的情況,就是親人遇到不如意的時候。舉個例子像是小孩在學校被欺負了,回到家之後跟雙親講,雙親卻說:是因為你看起來太軟弱,所以才會招來別人的欺負。
這樣的說法也沒錯,只不過在小孩難過的時候不能先稍微安撫一下,然後等到他情緒平靜之後再分析給他聽嗎?
雖然也是本著「愛之深、責之切」的想法…
…但在小孩正在難過時又指責小孩他的不是,會不會太嚴苛冷漠了點?
而且這樣子的評斷感覺似乎是……
有個人走在路上突然被不相干的人一腳踹到臭水溝裡,但旁人卻第一句指責掉落水溝裡的人說:「誰叫你要走在水溝旁,離水溝遠一點不就好了?」好像不覺得任意踹人才是不對在先。
雖然可能「責之切」的家長並非有這樣的意思,但很容易讓人有這樣的感覺。
理智處事也並非不好,只是親近的人正難過的時候,最急著需要的是個溫暖的懷抱與關愛,而並不是一頓指責的訓話啊…。
那真的不是「講理」的好時機……
唔,讀書心得打的太認真了,好累~。
又是一篇長文…
囧”
iswrphilly – The community-focused vibe here feels genuine, great to see local engagement online.
hanayaka-na-life – Elegant and serene design, the Japanese aesthetic truly shines through beautifully.
everydaychoicehub – “Choice hub” feels like a central spot for variety—nice for finding items you might not expect.
everymomentmatters – The name hits emotionally, good for meaningful purchases; just check the fine details.
modernstylemarket – Great name and the design looks sharp—perfect for trend-savvy shoppers.
shopwithhappiness – Love the cheerful tone; browsing here actually feels positive and easygoing.
discovergreatoffers – Straight to the point: you’re promised “great offers”—good for bargain-hunters if service and shipping align.
urbanwearoutlet – Stylish urban fashion outlet feel, lots of potential if the sizing and quality hold up.
dailychoicecorner – The variety of items surprised me, it’s like a cozy online bazaar.
inspiredthinkinghub – I like how they frame the brand as a place for ideas, not just shopping.
opennewdoors – A metaphorical name that feels encouraging; ideal for exploration or finding fresh options.
startyourjourneytoday – The motivational tone of the brand instantly boosts your mood while browsing.
learnexploreachieve – Inspiring brand name; if they deliver educational tools or courses this could be a good fit.
dreamcreateachieve – Full of ambition in one line—makes me think this brand supports creative and lifestyle change.
creativegiftplace – So many thoughtful gift ideas; perfect for finding something personal and unique.
brightnewbeginnings – The name gives a fresh start vibe; nice for seasonal or motivational purchases.
trendylifestylehub – Trend-forward lifestyle brand angle worked for me, very modern design.
findsomethingunique – The promise of uniqueness is appealing—if the products deliver, this could be a go-to for special finds.
classytrendcollection – The products feel trendy yet elegant, really fits the “classy” branding well.
simplystylishstore – Clean aesthetic and clear shopping experience; nice for simple, polished purchases.
dailytrendspot – Feels like a stylish marketplace where you can discover cool new finds.
mystylezone – Simple and stylish brand name, great for a fashion-oriented site where personal style matters.
trendshopworld – Global-sounding brand, good for catching wide variety of trends.
yourstylematters – I like the empowering message behind the name, style should always be personal.
findbetteropportunities – Ambitious name—makes me curious about what “better opportunities” means for customers.
findyourinspiration – Very motivating messaging; makes me think of product categories that spark ideas or renew your look.
fashiondailydeals – Prices look great for trendy pieces, could easily become a go-to fashion stop.
thebestcorner – Simple and strong branding—makes you believe you found a great spot for deals.
yourvisionmatters – Empowering message and good styling; strong brand identity right out of the gate.
brightstylecorner – The layout’s bright energy instantly catches your eye, really uplifting vibe overall.
discoverfreshperspectives – Feels more boutique or niche, good for curated products or design-forward picks.
uniquevaluecorner – Good selection of affordable items, name fits perfectly with what’s offered.
Баскетбол
makesomethingnew – Creative vibe, feels like a site where you can discover something fresh and unique.